One month old

Lincoln,

I can't believe that you are 1 month old already! In such a short time, you have given us so much joy.

As your mom, and a new mom, I know that I have had it much easier than some, maybe even most. However, it has not been all smooth sailing. Breastfeeding is hard. Really hard. People make it seem like a  something that comes naturally and easily. Even though I love having that special time with you, it is not as easy as some make it seem, and it is something I have spent many days and nights struggling with, especially at first. It is all-consuming. My nipples bled and got chapped at first (TMI?). I have leaked through many shirts, luckily not in public (yet). There are days when I feel like a milk cow- when I am not feeding you (just about every 2 hours!), I am pumping so that your daddy can feed you some nights and on the weekend. Sometimes you get into a feeding frenzy and throw your hands around, grasping at whatever you can get your little hands on. I have to struggle with you just to get you settled. Most times, along with your grasping hands, you also make growling and grunting noises. During these moments we call you a gremlin because you sound just a little monster! Through the struggles, I simply adore looking down at you, seeing your little chubby cheeks moving with each suck and swallow. You look so peaceful and it is amazing to know that I grew you inside of my body and now am able to nourish you with it too. It is a learning process for both you and I, and we continue to learn every day.

You love me, and I know it. But boy, do you love your daddy. Some nights it takes me forever to get you to sleep and to lay down, and just when I get you to sleep, you are ready to eat again. Just after I lay you in your crib you are so quick to cry and scream until I pick you up (we are working on this!). With him you fall into deep sleep so easily. He must have a very calming affect on you, just like he does with me :) He also sings to you a lot. He makes up silly songs about your pacifiers, or the clothes you are wearing that day or anything else that comes to mind. You love to look and listen to us talk to you, watching so intently, and in turn we love to talk to you and watch you watch us. We could watch you, touch your soft skin and kiss your chubby cheeks all day long. Kisses flow freely in our home every single day.

You are steadily gaining weight and are healthy and generally a happy baby, unless you are hungry or suffering from a bought of gas. Your dark hair is thinning out on just the top of your head, but it seems obvious that you will have dark brown hair. Your grey-blue eyes are also turning into what seems to be brown. Your neck is so strong and you are constantly lifting your head and flailing your arms and hands around. You also like to sleep with one arm up by your face.

You love your swing, getting lotion massaged on your feet and are starting to enjoy baths as well. And boy, do you love your pacifiers, one in particular that your daddy sings to you about- he calls it your green-apple tootie. The cats are slowly, but surely getting used to you but George does not like it when you cry. We have ventured out a few times, to buy daddy's new car (you threw up all over yourself and the carseat at the dealership, of course), we went out to eat with you for our first time together in downtown Frederick (Daddy was nervous you would wake up and start crying at any moment) and we went to the MD Sheep and Wool Festival, which you found extremely boring, as well as visiting a few people's homes and stores. I am getting more comfortable having you out and about, changing and feeding you outside of the comfort of our own home :)

 

You do not like the sun, as we discovered. Once the sun hits your face or your eyes, you get very stiff and stick your arms straight out like a zombie or a mummy. It is hilarious! Your cousin, Camden, LOVES to touch your soft skin and to hold you- she isn't even phased by your crying. Cordelia is a little more aprehensive and will only touch you briefly with one finger, more like a poke.

Our sunshine and the sunshine video

This month we celebrated my very first Mother's Day. I feel so special and blessed to have you as a son and to have a reason as sweet as you to give me cause to celebrate.

 

The evening of Mother's Day you rolled over! You were a few days shy of one month old and you  rolled from your tummy to your back while we were having tummy time. And...you did it again the very next day!

Our first month with you has flown by so fast and we have already made so many memories. We look forward to making so many more with you, our special boy.